JG's What-The-Hell Musings

This isn't just some ordinary blog. No way! I write about whatever comes to mind. It could be a short story I composed after a particularly weird dream, a poem about couples who assault us with their random acts of PDA, or a rant about the kid on the subway who just WON'T TURN HIS MUSIC DOWN!! Sorry, where was I?

Yeah, that's my blog.

What-The-Hell: Blue Ivy’s Hair Petition

So I know it’s been awhile since I’ve posted, but this is something I HAVE to talk about. So someone decided it would be a good idea to start a petition about Blue Ivy Carter’s hair. Yes, read that again. A child’s HAIR!! WHAT THE HELL!! Screw that, WHAT THE FUCK!!!

How unbelievably pathetic and sad do you have to be to start a petition about a child’s hair? How little are you as a person to give a shit that a kid, who is richer than you’ll EVER be, loved, cared for, nurtured and has BOTH parents, doesn’t have the kind of hairstyle YOU think is appropriate?? Do you really, truly think that Beyonce and Jay-Z give a fuck?! OF COURSE THEY DON’T!!! They’re busy making money, touring the world, being in love and you know, HAVING LIVES!! Their baby has been to places many will NEVER see in their lifetime.

Jesus Christ people, is this what we spend our time on? Really? Why on Earth couldn’t those people start a petition about something worthwhile? You know, like the latest in a string of school shootings. That doesn’t warrant a petition? Or what about raising the minimum wage so people can eat AND pay rent after working 50 hours a week at a dead-end job? No petition for that?

To the dingbats who started that unbelievably stupid petition: take a look in the mirror and reevaluate yourselves. You need a damn life. Or to get laid. Like, right now.

What-The-Hell: Don Draper

So I’ve been watching Mad Men on Netflix (I’ve never watched it before) and I’m wondering why everyone is so in love with Don Draper.  Yes he’s handsome and manly and great at advertising.  But he’s a whorebag, mean, a liar and a whorebag (did I say that already?).  So why is everyone so in love with him?  Because deep down, many men want to be him .  They want to be handsome and manly and sleep with any woman they want but still have a family at home.  They want a beautiful wife that cooks, cleans and looks good all of the time.  They want to drink at work, have a secretary that does his bidding and go out with the guys before heading home.

But really, Don Draper is a jerk.  He’s mean, a sexist, a homophobe and a hypocrite.  But of course, people think he’s great and that his wife is the bad person.  She’s no prize, but she shouldn’t take all of the blame.  It belongs with Don Draper.

What do you guys think?

What-The-Hell: Walt’s Gone Loco


How freaking crazy was “Breaking Bad?”  Waiting all week to see who would make it out of that crazy gun battle was TORTURE.  Alas, poor Gomie is a goner, which wasn’t a surprise but still pretty damned sad.  But my cutie-patootie Hank!!?  Not my Hank!!  He knew he was gonna get it as soon as he looked at that sleazeball Jack.  I loved what Hank said to Walt about being too stupid to know that Jack had made up his mind about killing him ten minutes ago.  That’s because Walt is a psycho egomaniac who thinks everyone should listen to him and him alone.  Boy was he wrong about THAT!!  Hearing that gun shot was AWFUL.  I was like Walt, I thought Hank was gonna make it out of there, but the drug life is not about happy endings.  Death is a big part of that game.

Everything after the gun fight was just pure craziness.  When Walt took Holly and Skylar ran after him, my heart was breaking.  Walt had hit a new low kidnapping his own daughter.  But at this point, should we really be surprised?  He has done some truly horrible things over the past seasons and stealing his kid shouldn’t have been shocking.  But yet it still was.  Because deep down I think we wall want Walt to atone for his sins somehow, even though we know that won’t happen.  He may have started out as a bit of a good guy but Walt really is lost.  He is totally and completely Heisenberg.

What did you think of the episode?

What-The-Hell: The Fuss Over 50 Shades

imageSo I read that everyone seems to be up in arms about the fact that Charlie Hunnam has been cast as Christian Gray (or is it Grey?).  Apparently, many think he isn’t handsome enough for the part.  WHAT THE HELLLLLLLLL????

Are people just plain crazy???  Are you even LOOKING at this photo???  Do you not see how FUCKING HOT this guy is???  Really????  If you don’t want to sit in a movie theater with a giant screen to watch THIS guy get naked and do dirty things to some chick we don’t even care about, then I will GLADLY sit in an empty theater to do it for you.  If you don’t watch Sons of Anarchy, then you should pronto because Charlie is naked alot and is a freaking BADASS as Jax Teller.  He’s normally in jeans, a t-shirt and his cut and has hair all over his face and he’s STILL hot as hell.  That man cleans up very nicely so imagine how he’ll look for this flick (which, by the way, I still can’t believe is being made.  Those books are awful).

I want to hear what you all have to say about it.  And for the love of Pete, be nice.  The last person who left me a nasty message was put to some serious shame and blocked.

So what do you think?  Is Charlie a good fit or no?  Who do you think would be better?

What-The-Hell: Boardwalk Empire, After Jimmy D.

So my last post was a complete rant on my dear departed Jimmy Darmody.  I vowed that I would not watch Season 3 because what was the point??  Well, now I know what everyone was talking about when they said to keep watching!!  Bobby Canavale is a BEAST!!!  His character Gyp Rosetti is a freaking psycho (and kind of kinky).  I can’t wait to watch the rest of Season 3 to see what happens.

What did you all think of Gyp?

What-The-Hell: RIP Jimmy Darmody

Okay, so I’ve been trying to catch up to Boardwalk Empire in time for the season premiere and I am DEVASTATED, I mean DEVASTATED that my man Jimmy Darmody is dead.  WHAT THE HELL??

It’s bad enough he had a crazy ass mother who basically fucked his head up at every turn.  He also had a wife who was really a lesbian, a father who was basically a bastard, and a pseudo-father who ended up blowing his brains out.  Seriously HBO?  You couldn’t let Jimmy have one bit of happiness???  My friends have told me to keep watching because the show is still damned good without Jimmy, but I’m skeptical.

Are they telling the truth, or are my friends blowing smoke up my ass just to get me to keep watching?

What-The-Hell: Miley Cyrus

So everyone and their mother is talking about Miley Cyrus’ performance on last night’s VMA’s.  I haven’t watched the VMA’s in ages because they’re boring as hell and the performances are usually pretty ridiculous.  But I watched a clip of Miley’s routine and I have to say it was funny as hell.  Why?  Because that girl spends so much time trying to be sexy and she really isn’t.  And I’m not bashing her, there are just some women who are naturally sexy (Angelina, Halle, Scarlet) and those who are not.  Maybe she’s trying to get rid of the Disney image and be seen as more of an adult.  But when you’re parading around in hardly any clothing and you can’t even legally drink, it just looks a little desperate.  I’m not going to be too hard on her though because guys don’t get bashed nearly as much as the women during these shows unless they do something unbelievably ridiculous (like Howard Stern and his ass-less pants).  So instead of going H.A.M. on Miley’s performance, cut her some slack.  Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, does stuff they regret when they’re young, me included.  Unfortunately for Miley, she has her stupidity plastered on newspapers, television and the all-seeing world wide web.

What did you think of the VMA’s?

What-The-Hell: Count Your Blessings (Stop Complaining Already)

Okay so my rant may sound likeI’mcomplaining, but really I’m not.  I just want to pass on a bit of advice:  stop complaining about your life.  Seriously, just stop it.  Unless you have a terminal illness, no place to live, no money, no food, family or friends, YOUR LIFE IS FINE.  And it will get better if you put in the effort.  Yes yes, I know.  Somtimes life just sucks.  But then again, life is fucking beautiful if you really, truly think about it.  There are wonders in this world that are just spectacular to behold (i.e., Great Pyramids, Great Wall, Henry Cavill, you get the point, right?).  So why are you complaining?

The next time you want to bitch about something, especially something truly trivial or silly, take a step back and think.  Is this really something worth losing sleep over?  Will it affect my life in a dramatic way?  Will I even remember it tomorrow?  If the answer to those questions is no, then move on.  Have fun.  Live your life.  Get over it already!

How do you feel about complainers?  Justified or no?

So I recently saw the movie Paranoia and although it was terrible, there’s no denying that Liam Hemsworth is one freaking hot guy!  I think he’s even better looking than his brother Chris a.k.a. Thor (and that’s saying something).  Miley Cyrus is one lucky broad to be able to shag that Adonis (and if you don’t think she’s shagging that man, you’re nuts).
Hemsworth faceoff!  Who do you think is more attractive?  Liam or Chris?

So I recently saw the movie Paranoia and although it was terrible, there’s no denying that Liam Hemsworth is one freaking hot guy!  I think he’s even better looking than his brother Chris a.k.a. Thor (and that’s saying something).  Miley Cyrus is one lucky broad to be able to shag that Adonis (and if you don’t think she’s shagging that man, you’re nuts).

Hemsworth faceoff!  Who do you think is more attractive?  Liam or Chris?

What-The-Hell: Haters

Have you noticed how unbelievably miserable people seem to be these days?  Just downright mean and nasty?  If a celebrity screws up, the haters go on a feeding frenzy, sometimes wishingdeathon these people!  DEATH!!  What the hell??

Don’t get me wrong, some of these celebrities out here are just plain dumb or so full of themselves they make me wanna vomit.  But come on!!  Who has time to write long ass posts about how much they hate someone??  Do you really have that much time on your hands??  How about getting a hobby or feeding the homeless or, you know, getting an effing LIFE?? 

I bring this up because I was reading an article about one of the Kardashians and the comments were absolutely disgusting.  People were calling them whores, sluts, whoresluts, you name it.  One person actually said something disgusting about Kourtney’s kids!  Really??  You wanna attack kids who don’t even know what family they’ve been born into?  That’s just low.

But what’s really driving this hate?  Is it the fact that people are just envious?  Lonely?  Sad?  Depressed?  Bat shit crazy?  What is it??

Here’s my take on the whole thing:  if you don’t like a celebrity, politician or your next door neighbor, don’t spend the entire day crafting an extremely nasty comment on a message board.  Just ignore them.  Period.  Don’t like the Kardashians?  Don’t read anything about them or watch their shows.  Pretty simple right?  Don’t like Justin Bieber?  Don’t listen to him!  So freaking easy!!

Now do me a favor.  Get a life.  Okay?